Shabbos Chanukah – December 9, 2023

On Shabbos January 14, 2024 I finished reading the book, The Jewish Confederates, by Robert N. Rosen. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Jewish_Confederates

Robert Rosen writes about why Jews supported the Confederacy.  The Jewish leaders of the Confederacy, the Jewish fighters, antisemitism, and how the Jews reacted to the defeat of the South.  On January 16, 2024 I finished the book.

There were 20,000 Jews in the South and 100,000 Jews in the North.  Roughly 2,000 Jewish men fought for the South.

The Jews in the South felt welcome.  Many were Jewish immigrants from Germany.   They went from oppression in their home countries to freedom in America.  They breathed fresh air and not the putrid air of repression in Germany and eastern Europe.  They became part of the culture of the South and some had slaves.  They supported the Southern cause and hated the Yankees.  The Jewish women  equally supported the Southern cause.  They looked up to Robert E. Lee and Jefferson Davis.

It is true that in Europe the ghetto walls fell down in Vienna in 1848 and in Germany around the same time; however, it did not approach the freedom the Jews felt in America, especially the South.

Page 14 states:

Thus, overwhelmingly, almost unanimously, some with fear and trepidation, others with courage and enthusiasm, some with reservations, other with a firm unflinching resolve, Southern Jewry cast its lot with the Confederate State of America.  Many like “Ike” Hermannn, had found the land of Canaan.  Othrs, like Gustavus Poznanski, had found their Jerusalem, their Pastime.  Still others, l Marcus Baum, Jacob Samuels, Adolph Proskenaur, and Herschel Kempner had found finally their fatherland.

Pages 15 and 16:

Southern Jews had been breathing the free air of Dixie for two hundred years.

The Jews arriving from Eastern Europe, and the German states such as Prussies and particularly Bavaria, which stood first in the row of intolerant states.” infamous for “its Pharaoh-like registration laws,” its restriction of trade, marriage, and even the Jew;s right to reside in the place of his choice.

The Jews of the South lived in a slaveholding society, and they accepted the institution as part of everyday life.  

There was some anti-semitism in the South before and during the civil war but by and large the Jews were accepted as part of Southern society.

Many Jews married out of the faith.  Judah Benjamin, considered the  most successful Jewish man in the South became a confidant of President Jefferosn Davis and in his war cabinet, married out of the faith.  Nonetheless he was known as a Jew.  Per Wikipedia:

Judah Philip Benjamin, QC (August 6, 1811 – May 6, 1884) was a United States senator from Louisiana, a Cabinet officer of the Confederate States and, after his escape to the United Kingdom at the end of the American Civil War, an English barrister. Benjamin was the first Jew to hold a Cabinet position in North America and the first to be elected to the United States Senate who had not renounced his faith.   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judah_P._Benjamin

Page 356 of Robert N. Rosen books state:

Why did Judah Benjamin’s memory survive?  “Without a question,” Rabbi Korn  wrote, “he achieved greater political power than any other Jew in American  history.”  Rabbi Calisch of Richmond explained his meaning for Southern Jewry in 1902: “I stand here in the name of the Jeiwsh community of this city .  Judah P. Benjamin was born of Jeiwsh parents and reared as a Jeiwsh child.  I have not yet been able to discover if he was an observing Jew or not.  But this I know, had he been a traitor we would have had to bear the ignominy of his wrong doing – but as he was a hero, a statement. a gentleman  and a partrit, we claim the privilege of sharing in the reflection of his glory.” 

The cover of the book depicts Major Adolph Proskauer at Gettysburg.  Major Proskauer, a n immigrant from Prussia to Mobile, led the 12th Alabama Infantry at Culp’s Hill during the Battle of Gettysburg.  This 1999 painting re-creates the moment described in the history of the regiment by Capt. Robert E Ory Park, “Our gallant Jew Major smoked his cigars calmly and cooly in the thichest of the fight.”  (Painting by Dan nance of Charlotte, North Caroline.  Author’s collections.)  Page 360 details life for Adolph Proskauer after the civil war.   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adolph_Proskauer

Another prominent Jew in the south was David Yulee.  He was born David Levy, but he changed his name to Yulee and became a Presbyterian.  Pages 60 and 61 discusses Yulle’s life.

It appears that the Jews of the South were assimilating.  My guess is that this was also happening in the North and probably by the early early to mid 1900s most of the jews in America at the time of the Civil war assimilated and there are few of their descendants identifying as Jewish.

There were some anti-semitci outbursts but they were short lived and the Jews were defended. Pages 266 through 272 in the book. There is little evidence of anti-semitism in the Army.  To restate, overall the Jews had it good in the South.

Robert N. Rosen concludes in his last three pages of the book.

My questions:

1 – how many Jews in the South and for that matter in the North trace their ancestry back to the Civil war?

2 – what was the  intermarriage rate both in the South and the North?

3 – what changed in the south after the Civil War that the South is/was considered to be heavily anit-semetic?

4 – were the Jews less accepted in the south after the Civil War and did intermarriage go down.

My answer is that because of the Civil War the South became impoverished.  People having troubles blame outsiders and they blamed the Jews.  Before the war, the south was a wealthy country.  Throughout  history when times are hard, jews are blamed.

December 9, 2023

Shabbos Chanukah

Parshas VaYeshev 

I loved the following story about Lt. Colonel Marcus Spiegel in the book. Lt. Colonel Marcus Spiegel also has a wikipedia page. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcus_M._Spiegel

Marcus M. Spiegel (December 8, 1829 – May 4, 1864) was one of the highest ranking Jewish officers in the U.S. Army during the American Civil War.^[1] He served in the 67th and 120th Ohio Volunteer Infantry. During the course of the war he became a staunch abolitionist. He served at the Siege of Vicksburg, and was mortally wounded during the Red River Campaign in May 1864.

Early life and education[edit]

Spiegel was born in the hamlet of Abenheim, Germany, near the city of Worms, on December 8, 1829, to a Jewish family that had lived in Germany since the sixteenth century.^[2] While peddling in Ohio he met Caroline Hamlin, daughter of a prominent Quaker. They married and moved to Chicago, Illinois where she studied Judaism and German-Jewish cooking. She converted to Judaism in 1853 in Chicago.^[3] He was the older brother of Joseph Spiegel, founder of Spiegel Catalog.^[4]

Career[edit]

Spiegel volunteered for the Union Army and soon rose through its ranks. He wrote over 150 letters to his wife Caroline during the course of the war, most of which still survive. In one of his letters wrote:

I am [in] favor of doing away with the institution of Slavery…never hereafter will I either speak or vote in favor of Slavery; this is no hasty conclusion but a deep conviction.^[5]

In late 1862 Spiegel was transferred to the recently formed 120th Ohio Volunteer infantry, and was promoted to lieutenant colonel. He was officially commissioned colonel on March 20, 1863, and took formal command of the regiment.^[6]

He served at the Battle of Vicksburg (May 18 – July 4, 1863). Soon after the fall of Vicksburg, he was badly wounded by an exploding shell. Spiegel survived the incident and was sent home to recuperate, and in March 1864 he returned to front line duties.^[6] Several weeks after his return, Confederate forces succeeded in ambushing the Union transport ship City Belle, at a location near Snaggy Point on the Red River, during the Red River Campaign in Louisiana. The result of the ambush was a disaster for the Ohioans; most of the 120th infantry were taken prisoner. Spiegel was again wounded by a shell burst; this time fatally.^[6] He died of his wounds on May 4, 1864.

Aliza Feiga’s Bas Mitzvah

Bereshis Pasuk 44:18 

וַיִּגַּ֨שׁ אֵלָ֜יו יְהוּדָ֗ה וַיֹּ֘אמֶר֮ בִּ֣י אֲדֹנִי֒ יְדַבֶּר־נָ֨א עַבְדְּךָ֤ דָבָר֙ בְּאׇזְנֵ֣י אֲדֹנִ֔י וְאַל־יִ֥חַר אַפְּךָ֖ בְּעַבְדֶּ֑ךָ כִּ֥י כָמ֖וֹךָ כְּפַרְעֹֽה׃

What Does  בִּ֣י אֲדֹנִי֒ Mean

Kotzker Rebbe on this Pasuk

Rabbi Mark Dratch – Beverley Javasky-Lyons Bar Mitzvah

Sunday the 24th is Aliza Feiga Siegal’s Bas Mitzvah.  Shoshana came in from Boynton Beach with Tovah and Tehillah.  Friday night Eli ate over and Nechama and Itamer stayed over to be with their cousins.   On Shabbos Mordy, Rivky and the Bas Mitzvah girl came over for lunch.

I had too much cake Friday night and it was hard to wake up Shabbos morning.  I got up a 6:30 AM and work on the Parsha.

Torah Chiddush:

This year I am not really saying Torah Chidushim.  I am more focused on reading the dialogue in the Chumash with the correct emotions and words in English.

I worked extensively on the first Pasuk, Verse 44:18

וַיִּגַּ֨שׁ אֵלָ֜יו יְהוּדָ֗ה וַיֹּ֘אמֶר֮ בִּ֣י אֲדֹנִי֒ יְדַבֶּר־נָ֨א עַבְדְּךָ֤ דָבָר֙ בְּאׇזְנֵ֣י אֲדֹנִ֔י וְאַל־יִ֥חַר אַפְּךָ֖ בְּעַבְדֶּ֑ךָ כִּ֥י כָמ֖וֹךָ כְּפַרְעֹֽה׃

Translations:

1 – Onkelys translates this Pasuk וּקְרֵב לְוָתֵיהּ יְהוּדָה וַאֲמַר בְּבָעוּ רִבּוֹנִי יְמַלֶּל כְּעַן עַבְדָךְ פִּתְגָּמָא קֳדָם רִבּוֹנִי וְלָא יִתְקֵף רוּגְזָךְ בְּעַבְדָךְ אֲרֵי כְפַרְעֹה כֶּן אָתְּ:

Yehudah approached him [Yosef] and said, “Please, my master, let your servant speak [now] a word in my master’s ears [before my master], and do not be angry with your servant, for you are equal to Pharaoh.”

2 – Artscroll, Gutnick, and JPS translations based on Onkelys:

Then Yehuda approached him and said “If you please my Lord may your  servant speak a word in my Lord’s ears and let not your anger flare up at your servant, for you are like Pharaoh.

3 – Charles Kahanah – Toras Yesharah translates it differently based on the Malbim.

And Judah approached him (Joseph) and said, “I cannot base this case on arguments of justice. But I beg you, master, allow me to plead in the hearing of my master for mercy, and be not angry at your servant thinking that I ask you to debase justice, for as governor you have the power, like Pharaoh, to grant a pardon. 

What does בִּ֣י אֲדֹנִי֒ mean?  Most translators translate as Onkelys and Artscroll, “Please, my Master”

There is no Rashi here but there is a Rashi in Berseshis 43:20 on בִּ֣י אֲדֹנִי֒ that also translates it as  “Please my Master”.  There is a Ramban in Bereshis 43:20 that translates it differently than Rashi and an Ibn Ezra.  

I want to say first bring down the Kotzker and my Chidush.  Then go back to discuss Rashi’s translation in Miketz 43:20.

The Kotzker says on  וַיִּגַּ֨שׁ אֵלָ֜יו יְהוּדָ֗ה that the אֵלָ֜יו is extra. Therefore the Kotzker says that it means שנגש אל עצמו.  Yehuda approached himself; he looked inwards.  I believe the Kotzker means that Yehuda paused for a few seconds, steeled himself, and searched for the right argument.  The viceroy who was effectively the most powerful man in the world spoke and said Binyamin is staying here.  No one debates a viceroy. Just responding to the viceroy may mean death to Yehuda.  Picture the scene.  Yosef as viceroy was sitting on his throne; around him were his ministers, the captains of the army and it was very frightful.  Yehuda had to argue correctly to free Binyamin.  Yehdua had to pause for a few seconds and gather himself for the future depended on what he said.

I want to add to the Kotzker that Yehuda thought or uttered under his breath  the next two words,  בִּ֣י אֲדֹנִי֒.  “In me Hashem”.  Harshem – speak through me the proper words to the viceroy so he may free Binyamin.  I am translating בִּ֣י as “in me”.  Artscroll on verse 43:20 footnote 7 says that the word בִּ֣י normally means “in me”; however, this translation does not work in the Passuk.  I am arguing that this is precisely the definition and the word אֲדֹנִי֒ refers to hashem.  Just like we find in Parshas Vayera that the word אֲדֹנִי֒ can be Chol – referring to man or Kodesh – referring to Hashem.

Perhaps you can say it means both.  He uttered it to himself and also spoke it to Josef as “please my lord”.

I first heard this Kotzker in the late 1980s from Rabbi Mark Dratch at a cousin’s, (Beverly and Eliot Javasky-Lyons), kid’s Bar Mitzvah at the Shaarei Shamayim Shul in Toronto.As I recall Rabbi Dratch said the Kotzker slightly different.   I recall Rabbi Dratch said that Yehuda did an introspection;  he asked  himself, where do I stand, do I have the moral courage to defend Binyomin?

The Rosh Yeshiva of HTC Skokie Yeshiva, Rabbi Moshe Revah, liked it and shook my hand.  At the Baral wedding on December 28, 2023 I told over my Torah to Rabbi Doivd Zucker, Rabbi Eliyahu Millen and Rabbi Efraim Twerski.  Rabbi Twerski said that he say in two Chassidic Seforim The   אֲדֹנִי֒ of thjis Pasuk is a reference to the opening of the Shemonei Esra words of   אֲדֹנָי שְׂפָתַי תִּפְתָּח וּפִי יַגִּיד תְּהִלָּתֶֽךָ.

Boruch hashem that I found my source for my Torah.

Analysis:

Bershis 43:20 says וַיֹּאמְר֖וּ בִּ֣י אֲדֹנִ֑י יָרֹ֥ד יָרַ֛דְנוּ בַּתְּחִלָּ֖ה לִשְׁבׇּר־אֹֽכֶל׃

“If you please, my lord,” they said, “we came down once before to procure food.  Almost all translations use the word Please.

Rashi comments on  בי אדני.

                  – בי אדני. לְשׁוֹן בַּעְיָא וְתַחֲנוּנִים הוּא, בְלָשׁוֹן אֲרַמִּי בַּיָּא בַּיָּא

This is an expression of beseeching and supplication,  In the Aramaic language (we find a related word with the same meaning) בַּיָּא בַּיָּא.   This is Arscroll and they do not translate בַּיָּא בַּיָּא.

 We have three places where the Gemora has the words בייא בייא and all three are translated by Seferia and Artscroll as woe, woe.  Yuma 59B, Sanhedrin 64A and Yevamos 97A,

Yuma 69B and Sanhedrin 64A are the same Gemora and Rashi in each location are slightly different.  The Rashi on  the third Gemora in Yevamos is also slightly different from the other two.  .

The Three Gemoras

The Gemara Yuma 69B says:

 ״וַיִּצְעֲקוּ אֶל ה׳ אֱלֹהִים בְּקוֹל גָּדוֹל״. מַאי אֲמוּר? אָמַר רַב, וְאִיתֵּימָא רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן: בִּיָּיא בִּיָּיא

 The Gemara recounts the event described in the verses: The verse states: And they cried with a loud voice to the Lord their God (Nehemiah 9:4). What was said? Rav said, and some say it was Rabbi Yoḥanan who said: Woe, woe.

Rashi in Yuma –   בייא בייא – לשון זעקה וקובלנא:  The word קובלנה in the Hebrew-English dictionary is “complaint.”

The Gemora in Sanhedrin 64A is the same Gemora, but Rashi is slightly different.

ת”ש (נחמיה ט, ד) ויזעקו בקול גדול אל ה’ אלהיהם מאי אמור אמר רב יהודה ואיתימא ר’ יונתן בייא בייא 

The Gemara suggests: Come and hear another proof, from the verse: “And they cried in a loud voice to the Lord their God” (Nehemiah 9:4). What did they say in that prayer? Rav Yehuda says, and some say it is Rav Yonatan who says: Woe, woe [baya, baya],

Rashi in Sanhedrin 64A

בייא בייא – בלשון ארמי הוי לשון גנחה וצעקה כמו אהבה בלשון הקודש:

 אהה means per the dictionary – oh, alas

Gemora in Yevomos 97A – ״בִּיָּיא בִּיָּיא מֵאַח, וְהוּא אַב, וְהוּא בְּעֵל, וְהוּא בַּר בְּעֵל, וְהוּא בַּעְלַהּ דְּאֵם, וַאֲנָא בְּרַתַּהּ דְּאִיתְּתֵיהּ, וְלָא יָהֵיב פִּיתָּא לַאֲחוּהּ יַתְמֵי בְּנֵי בְרַתֵּיה״ 

The Gemara cites another riddle: Woe, woe [baya, baya] for my brother, who is my father, and who is my husband, and who is the son of my husband, and who is the husband of my mother, and I am the daughter of his wife; and he does not provide bread for his brothers, who are orphans, the sons of me, his daughter. 

Rashi in Yevomos – בייא מאח – קובלת אני על אחי שהוא אבי ובעלי ובן בעלי והוא בעלה דאם הולידי מאמי והיינו נמי דהוא אב אלא לאפושי מילי הוא:

Here Rashi translates בייא as קבלת – as a complaint       

The problem is that Rashi in quoting  בַּיָּא בַּיָּא – woe, woe  seems to be more like the Ramban who says that  בי אדני  is an expression of distress and affliction over a tragedy and mishap, similar to the word avoi in Hebrew.  It does not seem that the source of Rashi is the Gemara in Yuma.  The standard Chumash I have does not put in brackets any source of Rashi. Look below for the Rambam and Ibn Ezra.

Continuation of Pasuk 44:18

There are three other Rashi’s in the first Pasuk on VaYigash:

ויגש אליו וגומר … דבר באזני אדני. יִכָּנְסוּ דְּבָרַי בְּאָזְנֶיךָ:

ואל יחר אפך. מִכָּאן אַתָּה לָמֵד שֶׁדִּבֵּר אֵלָיו קָשׁוֹת:

כי כמוך כפרעה. חָשׁוּב אַתָּה בְעֵינַי כְּמֶלֶךְ, זֶהוּ פְשׁוּטוֹ. וּמִדְרָשׁוֹ סוֹפְךָ לִלְקוֹת עָלָיו בְּצָרַעַת כְּמוֹ שֶׁלָּקָה פַרְעֹה עַל יְדֵי זְקֵנָתִי שָׂרָה עַל לַיְלָה אַחַת שֶׁעִכְּבָהּ (בראשית רבה). דָּבָר אַחֵר מַה פַּרְעֹה גוֹזֵר וְאֵינוֹ מְקַיֵּם, מַבְטִיחַ וְאֵינוֹ עוֹשֶׂה, אַף אַתָּה כֵן; וְכִי זוֹ הִיא שִׂימַת עַיִן שֶׁאָמַרְתָּ לָשׂוּם עֵינְךָ עָלָיו? דָּבָר אַחֵר, כִּי כָּמוֹךָ כְּפַרְעֹה, אִם תַּקְנִיטֵנִי אֶהֱרֹג אוֹתְךָ וְאֶת אֲדוֹנֶךָ (בראשית רבה):

How do you read  the above Pasuk?  Do you read it that Yehuda was meek and asking in a begging tone change his mind as the Malbim seems to says or was he speaking harshly, demanding in his words, but still telling Yosef that he – Yehuda – will become a servant to Yosef like Rashi suggests

Ibn Ezra –   בי. לשון בקשה. ולפי דעתי שהוא דרך קצרה. כמו בי אדני העון. והטעם עון במקום הזה כטעם גדול עוני מנשוא והטעם עשה בי מה שתרצה ותשמעני:

      OH. Bi adoni (Oh, my lord) is a supplicatory expression. I believe it is an abridged statement. It is like, bi ani adoni he-avon (upon me, my lord, upon me be the iniquity) (I Sam. 25:24). Avon (iniquity) here has the same meaning as avon in My iniquity (avoni) is greater than I can bear (Gen. 4:13). The meaning of bi adoni he-avon is, do to me as you wish but first listen to me.

Ramban: 

בי אדוני לשון בעיא ותחנונים הוא ובלשון ארמית בייא בייא לשון רש”י (רש”י על בראשית מ״ג:כ׳) וזה דבר זר מאד לסמכו אל מלת לשון טורסי ואינה דומה אליה כי בייא כולה מלה לא תשתנה ולא יאמר ממנה בי ועוד שהמלה ההיא אינה לשון בעיא ותחנונים כמו שאמר הרב אבל היא לשון צעקה ותרעומת על שבר ועל עוות דבר כגון מלת אבוי בלשון קדש והיא ידועה בלשון ערב ירגילו אותה בקינותיהם כולן בפתחות הבי”ת ובלשון יון בייא הבי”ת רפא בשו”א יאמרו אותה על הדוחק והצער ובבראשית רבה סדר בראשית (יב ו) מהו סלו לרוכב בערבות ביה שמו (תהלים סח ה) אין לך כל מקום ומקום שאין לו ממונה על בייא שלו אגריקוס במדינה ממונה על בייא שלו אגרטוס במדינה ממונה על בייא שלו כך מי ממונה על בייא של עולמו הקב”ה רוצה לומר שבכל מקום יש איש ממונה על הצעקה ועל העוות והקב”ה ממונה על צעקת העשוקים בעולם הצועקים בייא ועוד לפנינו בפרשת ויגש אליו (ב”ר צג ו) אמר לו יהודה בייא אתה מעביר עלינו שכך אמרת לנו ואשימה עיני עליו זו היא השמת עין ובפרשת ויהי בשלח (כ י) שמא אני מעביר בייא על בריה ובפרשת וישמע יתרו (כז ט) נתמנה אדם ונטל טלית כל טורח ציבור עליו אם ראה אדם מעביר בייא על חברו או עובר עבירה ולא מיחה בו הוא נענש עליו ובפרשת אשה כי תזריע (עיין ערוך ערך ביאה) צווח אנא בייא עליכון וכן במקומות הרבה ואונקלוס (תרגום אונקלוס על בראשית מ״ג:כ׳) שתרגם בי אדני בבעו רבוני לא שהוציא מלת בי מן בעו אבל רדף הענין שהוא בא בכל מקום בענין הבקשה ורבי אברהם אמר כי בי אדני דרך קצרה בלשון הקדש והוא כמו בי אני אדני העון והטעם עשה בי מה שתרצה ותשמעני ואם כן נכון הוא שיאמר אדם בי אחי או בי שמעני ולא מצאתי שתבא מלת בי רק עם אדני או עם השם הנכבד הנכתב באל”ף דלי”ת שגם הוא לשון אדון ולכן אני אומר שפירושו בי בעצמי אתה אדון ומושל ובאו שני כנויים לחזוק כמו ולי אני עבדך (מלכים א א כו) בי אני אדני (שמואל א כה כד) ודומה לזה כי בי בעזרך (הושע יג ט) בי עזרך בעזרך אני:

‘BI ADONI’ (O, MY LORD). The word bi is an expression of entreaty and supplication. In Aramaic, we have bai bai. Thus the language of Rashi.

Now it is a very strange thing to associate the Hebrew word bi with a word from the Tarsian language, which is unlike it, for the word bai is all one root; it cannot be changed, nor can you obtain the form of the word bi from this Aramaic root.

Moreover, this word bai does not connote entreaty and supplication, as the Rabbi [Rashi] states. Rather it is an expression of distress and affliction over a tragedy and mishap, similar to the word avoir in the Sacred Language. This is well known in the Arabic language, where the poets customarily use it in their elegies, always with a patach under the beth: bai. In the Greek language the word is bia — the beth having a shva — and is used to express distress and grief. Thus you find in Bereshith Rabbah, Seder Bereshith, that the Sages say: “What is the meaning of the verse, Extol Him that rideth upon the skies, the Eternal (‘bayah’) is His Name? There is no place whatever that does not have an officer in charge of its grievances. Agricus is in charge of grievances in his state; Agratus is in charge of grievances in his state. In the same way, who is in charge of the grievances (baya) in His world? [It is] the Holy One, blessed be He.” That is to say, every place has someone in charge of hearing complaints of distress and injustice, and the Holy One, blessed be He, is in charge of the cries of the oppressed, who cry, baya.

Again, before us in the Midrash Bereshith Rabbah of the Parshath (section of) Vayigash Eilav: “Judah said to Joseph, ‘You do baya (violence) against us. You had said to us thus: That I May set mine eyes upon him. Is this “casting an eye” upon him?’”

And in the Parshath Vay’hi B’shalach, you find in Shmoth Rabbah: “Do I ever baya (wrong) any creature?” And in the Parshath Vayishma Yitro, we find in Shmoth Rabbah: “Once a man has been appointed and he has put on the mantle of leadership, all communal burdens are upon him. If he sees a man doing baya against his fellow, or committing some transgression, and he fails to protest it, he is punished on account thereof.” And in the Parshath Isha Ki Thazria we find: “I raise a cry of violence (baya) against you.” And so also in many places.

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Now Onkelos, who translated Bi Adoni here as b’va’u riboni (O please, my lord), did not intend to suggest that the Hebrew word bi is a derivative of the Aramaic ba’u, but he merely translated it in accordance with its context, for the word bi is always found as an expression of supplication.

Rabbi Abraham ibn Ezra says that bi adoni is a shortened form in the Sacred Language, and its meaning is as in the verse, Upon me, my lord, upon me be the iniquity, thus meaning, “do to me whatever you wish, but listen to me.” But if this interpretation of Ibn Ezra is correct, it should follow that a person should also be able to say in Hebrew, “‘bi’ my brother,” or “‘bi,’ listen to me.” And yet nowhere do we find the word bi except in conjunction with the word adoni (my lord), or with the Honored Name of G-d when it is written with the letters aleph, daleth, which is also an expression of lordship. It is for this reason that I say that the meaning of the word bi is “by myself”: “By my life! you are lord and ruler.” The two pronouns serve for the purpose of emphasis, just as: But me, even me thy servant; Upon me, my lord, upon me. Similar to this is the verse, That thou art against Me, against thy help, meaning “I serve as your help.”

Sefaria’s English translation of this Rashi is  — The word בי is an expression of entreaty (בעיא) and supplication. In Aramaic we have בייא בייא “woe, woe!” (Yoma 69b).

Their Hebrew version says  ( בי אדני. לְשׁוֹן בַּעְיָא וְתַחֲנוּנִים הוּא, בְלָשׁוֹן אֲרַמִּי בַּיָּא בַּיָּא (יבמות צ”ז, סנהדרין ס”ד:

Rashi starts by saying that  בי means please and then uses the Aramaic words of בִּיָּיא בִּיָּיא.  Seemingly everyone translates this as woe, woe.  Aren’t please and woe two different expressions.  

Artscroll, Oz Vehadar and Gutnick put in brackets in this Rashi that Rashi’s source for the Aramaic meaning is the Gemora on Yuma 69B.  Seferia also links it to the Gemara in Sanhedrin 64A and Yevomos 97B.

Chief Rabbi Jonathan Sacks Torah – The Conflict of Brothers

Yosef’s Forgiveness 

Resh Lakish and Repentance

Life of My Mother Jean Morgenstern

April 1865 – The Month That Saved America by Jay Winick

President Abraham Lincoln and General Ulysses S. Grant

Surrender at Appomattox

The First Ramban on Parshas VaYechi

The First Kli Yakar on Parshas VaYechi

The Right HonourableThe Lord Sacks

Family Update:

We drove back from Toronto to Chicago this past Sunday. December 28th.   My  mother-in-law came back from Baycrest where she was rehabbing from surgery for a broken hip.  She has not changed.    Serka came down with Covid and we decided to head back to Chicago.   Serka  still has a loss of smell and taste.  She finished her quarantine since she got Covid and tested positive.  I have to quarantine for another week.  I am listening to Carlbach as I am writing this.

On Shabbos, I read about 100 pages of the book, April 1865 – The Month that Saved America by Jay Winik written in 2001.

Rabbi Sacks has a 7 page Torah Vort in his book  Covenant and Conversation titled, The Future of the Past.   Rabbi Sacks focuses on Bereshis 50:19-20 –  Pages 341-342:

The brothers told Joseph the following in Verse 50:15- 16

  וַיְצַוּ֕וּ אֶל־יוֹסֵ֖ף לֵאמֹ֑ר אָבִ֣יךָ צִוָּ֔ה לִפְנֵ֥י מוֹת֖וֹ לֵאמֹֽר׃

So they sent this message to Joseph, “Before his death your father left this instruction:

כֹּֽה־תֹאמְר֣וּ לְיוֹסֵ֗ף אָ֣נָּ֡א שָׂ֣א נָ֠א פֶּ֣שַׁע אַחֶ֤יךָ וְחַטָּאתָם֙ כִּי־רָעָ֣ה גְמָל֔וּךָ וְעַתָּה֙ שָׂ֣א נָ֔א לְפֶ֥שַׁע עַבְדֵ֖י אֱלֹהֵ֣י אָבִ֑יךָ וַיֵּ֥בְךְּ יוֹסֵ֖ף בְּדַבְּרָ֥ם אֵלָֽיו׃

So shall you say to Joseph, ‘Forgive, I urge you, the offense and guilt of your brothers who treated you so harshly.’ Therefore, please forgive the offense of the servants of the God of your father.” And Joseph was in tears as they spoke to him (see what I wrote from Rabbi Bitterman who explains why Yosef cried. Blog Post Parshas Vayechi December 18, 2021.) 

Joseph probably knew that his father never told his brothers what they claimed.  Rabbi Sacks says ”Yet Joseph takes his brothers seriously – not because he believes them but because the very fact that they say this indicates that they are still feeling anxious and guilty.  His response is majestic in its generosity, as follows:

וַיֹּ֧אמֶר אֲלֵהֶ֛ם יוֹסֵ֖ף אַל־תִּירָ֑אוּ כִּ֛י הֲתַ֥חַת אֱלֹהִ֖ים אָֽנִי׃       

But Joseph said to them, “Have no fear! Am I a substitute for God?

וְאַתֶּ֕ם חֲשַׁבְתֶּ֥ם עָלַ֖י רָעָ֑ה אֱלֹהִים֙ חֲשָׁבָ֣הּ לְטֹבָ֔ה לְמַ֗עַן עֲשֹׂ֛ה כַּיּ֥וֹם הַזֶּ֖ה לְהַחֲיֹ֥ת עַם־רָֽב׃

Besides, although you intended me harm, God intended it for good, so as to bring about the                                     present  result—the survival of many people. 

Rabbi Sacks writes in page 342 of his book,  “As we have already discussed, this final scene is the resolution of one of  the central problems of the book of Genesis:  the continuing theme of sibling rivalry.  A book replete with tensions, hatred and competition ends with forgiveness.  This closing is essential to the biblical drama of redemption, for if brothers cannot live together, how can nations?  And if nations cannot live together, how can the human world survive?  Only now with the reconciliation of Joseph and his brothers, can the story move on to the birth of Israel as a nation, passing from the crucible of slavery  to the constitution of freedom as a people under the sovereignty of God.”

How appropriate that over Shabbos  I read about 100 pages from Jay Winik’s book, April 1865.   The Civil War pitted brother against brother.  It is the same theme that Rabbi Sacks talks about, the need to heal the rupture so that the future can move forward.  President Abraham understood that just like he won the war, he had to win the peace.  

I quote from page 208 of Jay Winik’s book, “After four bloody years of reaching for the Confederacy’s jugular, Lincoln’s humanity is unchanged,  This avatar of total war is a staunch advocate of a soft peace, a generous peace, a magnanimous peace, just as Grant has carried out at Appomattox.   It is his River Queen doctrine writ large.  So passionately does he feel about this matter that he will directly tell his cabinet today, in no uncertain words, there is “no greater or more important [issue] before us, or any future Cabinet” than Reconstruction.”

Jay Winik writes on page 193.  “Appomattox was not preordained.  There were no established rules or well-worn script.  If anything, retribution had been the larger and longer precedent.  So, if these moments teemed with hope — and they did — it was largely due to two men, who rose to the occasion, to Grant’s and Lee’s respective actions; one general, magnanimous in victory, the other, gracious and equally dignified in defeat, the two of them, for their own reasons and in their ways, fervently interested in beginning the process to bind up the wounds of the last four years.  And yes. If, paradoxically, these were among Lee’s finest hours, and they were, so, too, were they Grant’s greatest moments.”

General Ulysses S. Grant treated General Robert E. Lee and the surrender of Lee’s army with dignity and tenderness.  The Union allowed General Lee’s men to surrender with dignity.  There was a stacking of the arms and acknowledgment that the men who were surrendering were honorable and deserving of respect.   General Grant carried out President Abraham Lincoln’s orders at City Point (General Grant’s command post) that there will be no bloody work and no  hangings.  This was atypical of war where the victors exact punishment on the defeated army with hangings, killings, and brutality.

The second half of Rabbi Jonathan Sack’s Torah is what I want to explain and is what animates me.

Yoma 86B states in the name of Resh Lakish:

אמר ריש לקיש גדולה תשובה שזדונות נעשות לו כשגגות שנאמר (הושע יד, ב) שובה ישראל עד ה’ אלהיך כי כשלת בעונך הא עון מזיד הוא וקא קרי ליה מכשול איני והאמר ריש לקיש גדולה תשובה שזדונות נעשות לו כזכיות שנאמר (יחזקאל לג, יט) ובשוב רשע מרשעתו ועשה משפט וצדקה עליהם (חיה) יחיה לא קשיא כאן מאהבה כאן מיראה

Reish Lakish said: Great is repentance, as the penitent’s intentional sins are counted for him as unwitting transgressions, as it is stated: “Return, Israel, to the Lord your God, for you have stumbled in your iniquity” (Hosea 14:2). The Gemara analyzes this: Doesn’t “iniquity” mean an intentional sin? Yet the prophet calls it stumbling, implying that one who repents is considered as though he only stumbled accidentally in his transgression. The Gemara asks: Is that so? Didn’t Reish Lakish himself say: Great is repentance, as one’s intentional sins are counted for him as merits, as it is stated: “And when the wicked turns from his wickedness, and does that which is lawful and right, he shall live thereby” (Ezekiel 33:19), and all his deeds, even his transgressions, will become praiseworthy? The Gemara reconciles: This is not difficult: Here, when one repents out of love, his sins become like merits; there, when one repents out of fear, his sins are counted as unwitting transgressions.

Rabbi Sacks asks – we understand that repentance can change your intent  from intentional sins to unwitting transgressions.    However, how does your deliberate sin count as merits?  How do you change the reality of what you did? It has been done, it is part of the past.  Even the Pasuk that Resh Lakish brings down in Ezekial does not support what Resh Lakish says.  The Pasuk says that he will live in the future but not that his past wrongdoing is a merit.

Rabbi Sacks answered that “once the brothers had undergone complete repentance, their original intent was canceled out.  It was now possible to see the good, as well as the bad consequences of their act – and to attribute the former (good acts) to them.  Strpped of their initial aim, the act could instead be defined by what part it played in a providential drama whose outcome was only now fully apparent in retrospect.”  God wanted Joseph to be sold down to Egypt.  If the brothers had not sold Joseph perhaps on  his way back home, Joseph would have been kidnapped.  What the brothers did was wrong, however, now since they regretted their actions, their original intent is canceled out and their sale of Joseph  is part of God’s divine plan.  This is what Yosef told the brothers in Verses 50:19-20.  

This is the story of my mother’s life.  She made major  mistakes in her life.  She had to pick herself off the mat, fight for everything, suffer setbacks, and in the end this humble person whose prospects for a good life initially seemed unattainable, became the matriarch of a glorious family.   Her children and grandchildren flourished, raised beautiful families, found success in America, and lived the American dream.   When my mother died in late 2017 she had over 140 living children, grandchildren, great grandchildren.  The number is now approaching 150.  My mother’s mistakes ended up becoming the foundation for a great and glorious family.  Her mistakes became merits.     This is what my sister Karen told my mother after my mother got sick.  My mother was confined to the house and no longer able to come and go.  All she did was sit and replay her  life in her mind.    She expressed her anguish to Karen about her mistakes.  Karen responded, Ma look what your mistakes produced, a Pesach and an Arela and their families.  Look at Lisa and Mitch.  We should only be so lucky.

I must add that my grandparents Sholem and Chana Feigal Sklar came to America and stayed Orthodox.  They did not change.  My grandfather did not change in America, kept his beard, and lived his life as he lived in Europe.    Zedi had 6 brothers and sisters in America that came before him and none remained Orthodox.  They told him that here in America you have to become American and shave your beard.  Initially, his siblings did have success with Esther Diamond brothers getting PHDs from the University of Chicago and working on the Manhattan project.  However, in 2020 all  his 6 brothers and sisters may have 50 descendants, only two Orthodox.  However in terms of success in America Zedi and Bubi’s kids have succeeded beyond expectations in 1923 living on Maxwell Street.  They now have over 250 descendents including Torah scholars, doctors, lawyers, businessmen and of course myself.

I saw a very nice Ramban at the beginning of the Sedra:  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nachmanides

ויחי יעקב בארץ מצרים שבע עשרה שנה כבר הזכרתי (לעיל מג יד) כי רדת יעקב למצרים הוא גלותינו היום ביד החיה הרביעית (דניאל ז ז) רומי הרשעה כי בני יעקב הם עצמם סבבו רדתם שם במכירת יוסף אחיהם ויעקב ירד שם מפני הרעב וחשב להנצל עם בנו בבית אוהב לו כי פרעה אוהב את יוסף וכבן* לו והיו סבורים לעלות משם ככלות הרעב מארץ כנען כמו שאמרו (לעיל מז ד) לגור בארץ באנו כי אין מרעה לצאן אשר לעבדיך כי כבד הרעב בארץ כנען והנה לא עלו אבל ארך עליהם הגלות ומת שם ועלו עצמותיו   וזקני פרעה ושריו העלוהו ועשו עמו אבל כבד וכן אנחנו עם רומי ואדום אחינו הסיבונו ביאתינו בידם כי כרתו ברית עם הרומיים ואגריפס המלך האחרון לבית שני ברח אליהם לעזרה ומפני הרעב נלכדו אנשי ירושלים והגלות ארך עלינו מאד לא נודע קצו כשאר הגליות ואנחנו בו כמתים אומרים יבשו עצמותינו נגזרנו לנו ויעלו אותנו מכל העמים מנחה לה’** ויהיה להם אבל כבד בראותם כבודנו*** ואנחנו נראה בנקמת ה’ יקימנו ונחיה לפניו****:

*I thought this was not true.  I have written that Pharaoh viewed Yosef as his hatchet man based on a Pasuk in Miktaz.  Perhaps both are true that he did love Yoseph.  At the same time when needed, he made Yoseph a scapegoat and his hatchet man.  

** I believe this was fulfilled in the first half of the 20th century starting with the Balfour Declaration and ending with 1948 when the State of Israel was declared.

*** Perhaps this is what has and is what is happening over the last 50 years starting with the UN and spreading to the EU. They cannot accept Israel’s great success and use it to better the Arab world and the entire world.  Rather than harnessing the entrepreneurship and energy of Israel, they choose to attempt to hurt and destroy Israel, keeping over 1 Billion people enslaved to poverty, religious fanatics, megalomaniacs, without hope for the future.   

**** We want the world to be a partner with the Jews and Israel, and not face retribution.

I also spent time on this Kli Yakar:   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shlomo_Ephraim_Luntschitz

ויחי יעקב בארץ מצרים וגו’. למה פרשה זו סתומה, אלא כיון שנפטר יעקב התחיל השעבוד ד״א שבקש לגלות הקץ ונסתם ממנו. ד״א שנסתמו ממנו כל צרות שבעולם. כך היא הנוסחא בב״ר (צו א) כפי הנראה שאין סמך מן המקרא לכל הדרשות האלו וכולם כמתנבאים. ואשר נראה לי בזה לפי שמצינו כאן סתימה שלא כדרך הפרשיות הסתומות שבתורה שיש בהם ריוח לפחות כשיעור פרשה סתומה, וכאן אין ריוח כלל ודאי שכונת עזרא הסופר להסמיך פסוק ויחי לפסוק שלפניו וישב ישראל בארץ גושן ויאחזו בה ויפרו וירבו מאד ויחי יעקב וגו’. כאילו היה הכל פסוק אחד, ע״כ נחלקו ג’ לשונות אלו במשמעות דורשין.

כי ללשון ראשון הדורש, שכיון שנפטר יעקב התחיל השיעבוד יהיה קישור שני פסוקים אלו על זה האופן, כי מתחילה אמר וישב ישראל בארץ גושן הורה בלשון ישיבה שהיה להם ישיבה של שלוה ומנוחה, ויאחזו שהיה להם גם אחוזה בארץ ויפרו וירבו מאד, וכל זה היה בזמן ויחי יעקב כי בחייו עמד להם זכות יעקב שזכו לכל אלה, מכלל שבמותו פסק זכותו ופסק הכל, כי לא היה להם עוד ישיבה של שלום מצד השעבוד, וכ״ש שלא היחה להם אחוזה בארץ כי עבדים המה, וכן לא ניתן להם לפרות ולרבות כי בקשו להמעיטם ע״י העינוי באמרם פן ירבה, ולפי זה היתה מיתת יעקב סבת השעבוד.

ונוכל לומר בהפך זה, שהתחלת השעבוד היה סבת מיתתו כי קיצר הקדוש ברוך הוא שנותיו שלא הגיע לימי אבותיו שלא יראה בשעבוד בניו, כי בא הזמן של ועבדום וענו אותם. לכך נאמר ויקרבו ימי ישראל למות ואמרו רבותינו ז״ל (בר״ר צו ד) כל מי שנאמר בו קריבה לא הגיע לימי אבותיו, ובדרך זה יהיה הסמיכות מבואר ג״כ כמו בדרך ראשון, ומספר י״ז שנה דנקט לומר שמכירתו של יוסף שהיה בן י״ז שנה, גרם להם שלא ישבו בשלום במצרים כ״א י״ז שנה.

וללשון שלישי הדורש, לפי שנסתמו ממנו כל צרות שבעולם יאמר הכתוב אע״פ שהיה כל ימיו בצרה וגרות כמ״ש ימי מגורי ק״ל שנה מעט ורעים, מ״מ לגודל השלוה שהיה לו תוך י״ז שנים שראה ישיבת בניו בשלום ויאחזו בארץ ויפרו וירבו נשכחו ממנו כל הצרות הראשונות שעברו עליו והיו כלא היו, לכך נאמר ויהי ימי יעקב שני חייו קמ״ז שנה כי אותן ק״ל שנים לא היו נחשבים מכלל ימי חייו לגודל צרותיו, ועכשיו למפרע נחשבו כולם שני חייו, וזה לפי שנסתמו ממנו כל הצרות שעברו וכאילו היה חי חיים נעימים ועריבים בכל שנותיו, שהרי באמת יוסף היה חי, לכך סמך ויחי יעקב אל הפסוק הקודם, ומה שהשמיט רש״י לשון זה לפי שנראה לו שהיינו הך הלשון ראשון כאשר הוא מבואר למבין בהתבוננות מעט.

ואולם הלשון השני הדורש, שבקש לגלות הקץ ונסתלקה ממנו השכינה, לפי שבא לתרץ מהו שאמר ויחי יעקב בארץ מצרים י״ז שנה מאי קמ״ל, וכי עדיין לא ידענו שהיה במצרים י״ז שנה, שהרי בבואו לפני פרעה אמר ימי מגורי ק״ל שנה, וא״כ למה הוצרך לומר שהיה חי במצרים י״ז שנה, ועוד למה לא הזכיר לשון זה באברהם ויצחק או אמהות, אלא ודאי שבא להורות שפרשה השכינה ממנו, לפי שנאמר למעלה ותחי רוח יעקב אביהם, שפירושו ששרתה עליו השכינה מדקאמר רוח יעקב, וסד״א ששרתה עליו רוח הקודש כל הימים עד יום מותו, קמ״ל ויחי יעקב בארץ מצרים כי בבואו למצרים חי יעקב אבל לא רוח יעקב שנסתלקה ממנו השכינה מיד, לפי שאמר אמותה הפעם אחרי ראותי את פניך, וא״כ מיד היה מוכן אל הצואה לצוות מחמת מיתה והיה חושש הקב״ה פן יגלה הקץ על כן נסתלקה ממנו השכינה, ועדיין לא ידענו מאיזו טעם נסתלקה שכינה ממנו, ע״כ באה פרשה זו סתומה לסמכה לפסוק וישב ישראל בארץ גושן, לפי שמהידוע שימשך נזק גדול מן ידיעת הקץ, כי הדורות הקודמים היודעים שהגאולה לא תהיה בימיהם לא ידרשו את פני ה’ לבקש על הגאולה ועל התמורה.

וכן פירש בעקידה, על המדרש (ילקו״ש קנז מט) האומר כשבקש יעקב לגלות הקץ אמר הקב״ה ולא אותי קראת יעקב (ישעיה מג כב) ר״ל שלא היית חס על כבודי, כי מידיעה זו ימשך נזק זה שלא יקראו אותי ולא יבקשו פני הדורות הקודמים ויבקשו לישב וכמתיאשים מן הגאולה, על כן סתם וחתם ה’ הקץ האחרון כדי שבכל דור ודור יבקשו את פני ה’ ואת דוד מלכם ויהיו מחכים קץ ישועתו תמיד, כאשר בעונינו מדה זו מצוייה בינינו אפילו בזמן שאין הקץ נודע מ״מ רבים המה עמי הארץ המתישבים בארצות העמים ובונין להם בתים ספונים וחשובים ושל אבנים בנין הקיום, ובסבה זו לעולם אינן דורשין את פני ה’ בכל לב להביאם אל ארצם, וע״כ הקב״ה מניחם שמה, 

ולהנחה זו פסוק וישב ישראל בארץ גושן. מדבר באשמת ישראל, שבקשו להיות חושבים ולהיות להם אחוזה בארץ לא להם, ונזק זה בא להם לפי שקץ גלות מצרים היה נודע להם, על כן הדורות הראשונים אשר ידעו בבירור כי לא בימיהם תהיה הגאולה ההוא בקשו להם ישיבה של קבע ואחוזה בארץ מצרים, על כן סמך לפסוק זה פסוק ויחי יעקב דלהורות שנזק זה הנמשך לאותן הדורות מחמת שהיה קצם נודע גרם לויחי יעקב אבל לא רוח יעקב, כי אם יעקב לבדו היה חי כדי שלא יגלה הקץ לאחרון ושלא יתפשט נזק זה לדורות.

September 16 and 17, 2023

Parshas VaYerah

Had a pretty good Rosh Hashana. Friday night’s meal was with Serka, myself and Sholem. Shabbaos, Rosh Hashanah morning go up at 7:00 AM, read the Mizrachi magazine doing a retrospective on the 50th year anniversary of the Yom Kippur war Davening was called for 8:45 AM and I got there at 9:15 AM, still at the beginning of Pesukei D’Zimra. Beautiful davening. Ari Grebel davened Shacharis and Avrohom Morgenstern davened Musaf. I learned little during the davening, rather focusing on the davening itself. Very inspirational.

For the Shabbos meal, we had Rivkie, Mordy, and their three kids, Eli and Xi, Sholem, Hudi and Atara Greenbaum. Atara is Dr. Laura and Avi Greeenbaum’s kid, granddaughter of Zlat and David Gross.

Saturday night was just Serka and myself.

Sunday morning was a carbon copy of the day before except for Shofar blowing by Ben Adlar. However, during Musaf I was putting together some Torah that occurred to me. Sunday lunch, Serka, myself, and Sholem walked to Rivkie and Mordy’s house for the Rosh Hashanah meal.

My Torah for Rosh Hashanah 2023

The Torah Leining for Rosh Hashanah Day 1 is from Genesis Chapter 21 covering the story God remembering Sara, giving birth, Yitzchok’s circumcision, Sara kicking out Hagar and Yismael, God saving them, and lastly the story of Avimelech the king of the Pelishtim approaching Avrohom to make a peace treaty. The Leining of Day 2 is Chapter 22 which is the next Chapter in the Chumosh. It is the story of the Akidah, which ends with Avrohom being told that his brother Nachar had a granddaughter Rivka.

I listened to the last Verse in the story of Sarah kicking out Hagar and Yismael, Pasuk 21:21 – וַיֵּ֖שֶׁב בְּמִדְבַּ֣ר פָּארָ֑ן וַתִּֽקַּֽח־ל֥וֹ אִמּ֛וֹ אִשָּׁ֖ה מֵאֶ֥רֶץ מִצְרָֽיִם. It struck me as odd. Why is Yishmael’s mother finding him a wife? He is 27 and can find a wife for himself. I thought about this Pasuk some more and asked what is this Pasuk telling us? Is it just a concluding Pasuk to let us know what happened after Yismael was saved? Similar to “and they lived happily ever after”. Rashi focused on Yishmael’s wife being from Egypt says:

מארץ מצרים. מִמְּקוֹם גִּדּוּלֶיהָ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר וְלָהּ שִׁפְחָה מִצְרִית וְגוֹ’ (בראשית ט״ז:א׳), הַיְנוּ דְּאָמְרִי אִינָשֵׁי זְרֹק חוּטְרָא לַאֲוִירָא, אֲעִיקְּרֵיהּ קָאֵי:
This Rashi raises a major question. If a person always goes back home, to its source, why didn’t Hagar go back to Egypt and settle there? Why did she and Yishmael live in the desert of Paran? Clearly she went back to Egypt to find a wife for his son.

Insights and issues:
A – It is amazing that Yishmael at age 27 follows the advice of his mother.
B – She did go back to Egypt to find a wife for his son, however, did not stay there. She stayed in the
desert of Paran and did not go back to Egypt.
C – What is this Pasuk telling us?

To understand this Pasuk we have to bring in a number of other Pesukim and Midrashim.

Number #1:
What did happen to Hagar? In Bereshis Pasuk 25:1 it says וַיֹּ֧סֶף אַבְרָהָ֛ם וַיִּקַּ֥ח אִשָּׁ֖ה וּשְׁמָ֥הּ קְטוּרָֽה׃.
Rashi says that Keturah is Hagar and she is called Keturah for two reasons – קטורה. זוֹ הָגָר, וְנִקְרֵאת קְטוּרָה עַל שֶׁנָּאִים מַעֲשֶׁיהָ כִּקְטֹרֶת (בראשית רבה), וְשֶׁקָּשְׁרָה פִּתְחָהּ, שֶֶׁלֹא נִזְדַּוְּגָה לְאָדָם מִיּוֹם שֶׁפֵּרְשָׁה מֵאַבְרָהָם:
She was a good person and performed good deeds. Put in other words, she lived an Abrahamic life, perhaps even setting up an Eshel to provide meals for travelers. She did not marry anyone else from when she left Avrohom. I would expand Rashi and say that she hoped one day to reunite with Avrohom as a wife. This is despite the rejection she must have felt twice. She was actually one her way back to Egypt after both times, and at least at the second time started to worship idols. Both times she saw the hand of God, God saved her and Yishmael, and made Yishmael into a great nation. She decided not to go back to Egypt because she was part of the Abrahamic peoplehood and did not want to marry anyone else and stay “loyal to Avrohom” which paid of at the end, when she remarried Avrohom.

Who brought Hagar back to marry Avrohom? Pasuk 24:62 וְיִצְחָק֙ בָּ֣א מִבּ֔וֹא בְּאֵ֥ר לַחַ֖י רֹאִ֑י וְה֥וּא יוֹשֵׁ֖ב בְּאֶ֥רֶץ הַנֶּֽגֶב׃. Rashi explains (מבוא באר לחי רואי. שֶׁהָלַךְ לְהָבִיא הָגָר לְאַבְרָהָם אָבִיו שֶׁיִּשָּׂאֶנָּה (בראשית רבה.
It was Yitzchok and per Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, Yitzchok wanted to reunite the family and bring not only Hagar back but also Yishmael, hopefully he would do Tshuva. Yishmael did do Tshuva as the Torah testifies to this twice, once when Avrohom died and the second time when Yisnael himself died.

Number #2:
Yonasan ben Uziel brings down the Perkei D’Rabbi Eliezer that Yismael was married twice. וְיָתִיב בְּמַדְבְּרָא דְפָּארָן וּנְסֵיב אִתְּתָא יַת עֲדִישָׁא וְתֵרְכָהּ וּנְסִיבַת לֵיהּ אִמֵיהּ יַת פְּטִימָא אִתְּתָא מֵאַרְעָא דְמִצְרָיִם
And he dwelt in the wilderness of Pharan, and took for a wife Adisha, but put her away. And his mother took for him Phatima to wife, from the land of Mizraim.

The Perkie D’Rav Eliezer is more expansive and tells us that Avrohom went to visit Yishmael three years later and a second time 3 years later. Avrohom left a coded message to Yishmael that his first wife was not good. Yishmael understood the message, divorced his wife, and remarried Phatima, the wife his mother found for him in Egypt. The Chizkuni confirms that the Pasuk’s statement that Hagar took a wife for Yishmael was the second wife.

It appears that despite Yishmael following evil ways, there was some goodness to him. He listened to his mother and felt the love of his father (וידע ישמעאל שעד עכשו רחמי אביו עליו כרחם אב על בנים) . Yishmael had a strong support system. His mother was a good person and she selected a good wife for him. There was a core of goodness in Yismael held that would later lead to his Tshuva and becoming a Tzaddik.

Pasuk 21:21 is telling us that Hagar lived in the desert of Paran and did not go back to live in Egypt, her birthplace. This is because she no longer lived the life of an idol worshiping Egyptian. She was a moral person, believing in Avrohom’s God, and a kind and generous person. She only went back to Egypt to tap her family network, and find a good wife for her son.

Sources:

Perkei D’Rav Eliezer – Chapter 30:
Chzikuni

Perkei D’Rav Eliezer – Chapter 30:

הנסיון התשיעי, נולד ישמעאל בקשת ונתרבה בקשת שנ’ ויהי אלהים את הנער ויגדל ונטל קשת וחצים והיה יורה אחר הפנות וראה את יצחק יושב לבדו וירה חץ להרגו וראה זה הדבר שרה והגיד לאברהם ואמרה לו כזה וכזה עשה ישמעאל ליצחק אלא עמוד וכתוב ליצחק כל מה שנשבע הב”ה לך ולזרעך שאין בן האמה יורש עם בני עם יצחק שנ’ ותאמר לאברהם גרש את האמה הזאת ואת בנה כי לא יירש בן האמה הזאת עם בני עם יצחק.
יהודה בן תימא אומר, אמרה שרה לאברהם כתוב גט גרושין לאמה ושלח את האמה הזאת מעלי ומעל יצחק בני מן העולם הזה ומן העולם הבא. ומכל הרעות שבאו על אברהם הרע בעיניו הדבר הזה מאד, שנאמר (בראשית כא, יא) וַיֵּרַע הַדָּבָר מְאֹד בְּעֵינֵי אַבְרָהָם עַל אוֹדֹת בְּנוֹ.
ר’ יהודה אומר, נגלה הב”ה עליו אמ’ לו אברהם אין אתה יודע שהיתה שרה ראויה לך לאשה ממעי אמה והיא חברתך ואשת בריתך לא נקראת שרה שפחה אלא אשתך לא נקראת הגר אשתך אלא שפחתך כל מה שדברה שרה באמת הגידה אל ירע בעיניך.
השכים אברהם וכתב גט גירושין ונתן להגר ושלח אותה ואת בנה מעליו ומעל יצחק בנו מהעולם הזה ומהעולם הבא שנ’ וישכם אברהם בבקר ויקח וכו’ וישלחהו בגט גירושין ולקח בגד אחד וקשר במתניה כדי שיהא שוחף אחריה לידע שהיא שפחה ולא עוד אלא שעמד אברהם אבינו לראות את ישמעאל בנו ולראות את הדרך שהלכו בה.

ובזכות אברהם לא חסרו המים מן החמת, וכיון שהגיע לפתח המדבר התחילה תועה אחרי ע”ז של בית אביה ומיד חסרו המים מן החמת לפיכך ותשלך את הילד. ובן כ”ז (י”ג כ”ד) שנה היה ישמעאל כשיצא מבית אביו ויצחק בן עשר שנים היה.

ותלך ותתע וכו’, אין ותתע אלא ע”ז דכתיב בה (ירמיה י טו) הבל המה מעשה תעתועים. ועייפה נפשו של ישמעאל בצמא והלך והשליך את עצמו תחת חרולי המדבר להיות חרשן עליו ואמ’ אלהי אברהם אבי יש לפניך תוצאות מים קח את נפשי ממני ואל אמות בצמא ויעתר לו שנ’ כי שמע אלהים את קול הנער באשר הוא שם ושם נפתחו להם הבאר שנבראת בין השמשות והלכו ושתו ומלאו את החמת מים שנ’ ויפתח אלהים את עיניה ושם הניחו הבאר ומשם נשאו את רגליהם והלכו אל המדבר כלו עד שהגיעו למדבר פארן ומצאו שם מוצאי מים וישבו שם שנ’ וישב במדבר פארן שלח ישמעאל ולקח לו אשה מבנות מואב ועישה שמה. לאחר שלש שנים הלך אברהם לראות את ישמעאל בנו, ונשבע לשרה שלא ירד מעל הגמל במקום שישמעאל שרוי תמן, והגיע לשם בחצי היום ומצא שם את אשתו של ישמעאל. אמ’ לה, היכן הוא ישמעאל. אמרה לו, הלך הוא ואמו להביא פירות ותמרים מן המדבר. אמ’ לה, תני לי מעט לחם ומים כי עייפה נפשי מדרך המדבר. אמרה לו, אין לי לחם ולא מים. אמ’ לה, כשיבא ישמעאל הגידי לו את הדברים הללו ואמרי לו זקן אחד מארץ כנען בא לראותך ואמר חלף מפתן ביתך שאינה טובה לך. וכשבא ישמעאל מן המדבר הגידה לו את הדברים הללו, ובן חכם כחצי חכם, והבין ישמעאל ושלחה אמו ולקחה לו אשה מבית אביה, ופטימה שמה.

ועוד אחר שלש שנים הלך אברהם לראות את ישמעאל בנו ונשבע לשרה כפעם ראשונה שאינו יורד מן הגמל במקום שישמעאל שרוי שם והגיע לשם בחצי היום ומצא שם אשתו של ישמעאל ואמ’ לה היכן הוא ישמעאל אמרה לו הוא ואמו הלכו לרעות את הגמלים במדבר אמ’ לה תני לי מעט לחם ומים כי עייפה נפשי מדרך המדבר והוציאה לחם ומים ונתנה לו עמד אברהם והיה מתפלל לפני הב”ה על בנו ונתמלא ביתו של ישמעאל מכל טוב ממין הברכות וכשבא ישמעאל הגידה לו את הדבר וידע ישמעאל שעד עכשו רחמי אביו עליו כרחם אב על בנים.

לאחר מיתתה של שרה חזר אברהם ולקח את גרושתו שנ’ ויוסף אברהם ויקח אשה ומדקאמר ויוסף משמע שפעם ראשונה היתה אשתו ועוד לא הוסיף לבא עליה ושמה קטורה שהיתה מקוטרת מכל מיני בשמים. ד”א, קטורה — שהיו נאים מעשיה כקטרת. ילדה לו ששה בנים וכלם נקראו על שמו של ישמעאל, שנ’ ותלד לו את זמרן ואת יקשן.

וכאשה שהיא מתגרשת מן בעלה, כך עמד אברהם ושלחן מעל יצחק בנו מן העה”ז ומן העה”ב, שנ’ ולבני הפלגשים אשר לאברהם וכו’ וישלחם בגט גירושין.

פרקי דרבי אליעזר ל׳:ו׳
Perkei D’Rav Eliezer in English
THE TRIALS OF ABRAHAM (continued)
THE ninth trial (was as follows): Ishmael was born with (the prophecy of the) bow, and he grew up with the bow, as it is said, “And God was with the lad, and he grew … and he became an archer” (Gen. 21:20). He took bow and arrows and began to shoot at the birds. He saw Isaac sitting by himself, and he shot an arrow at him to slay him. Sarah saw (this), and told Abraham. She said to him: Thus and thus has Ishmael done to Isaac, but (now) arise and write (a will in favour) of Isaac, (giving him) all that the Holy One has sworn to give || to thee and to thy seed. The son of this handmaid shall not inherit with my son, with Isaac, as it is said, “And she said unto Abraham, Cast out this bondwoman and her son” (Gen. 21:10).
Ben Tema said: Sarah said to Abraham, Write a bill of divorce, and send away this handmaid and her son from me and from Isaac my son, in this world and from the world to come. More than all the misfortunes which overtook Abraham, this matter was exceedingly evil in his eyes, as it is said, “And the thing was very grievous in Abraham’s sight on account of his son” (Gen. 21:11).
Rabbi Jehudah said: In that night the Holy One, blessed be He, was revealed unto him. He said to him: Abraham ! Dost thou not know that Sarah was appointed to thee for a wife from her mother’s womb? She is thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant; Sarah is not called thy handmaid, but thy wife; neither is Hagar called thy wife, but thy handmaid; and all that Sarah has spoken she has uttered truthfully. Let it not be grievous in thine eyes, as it is said, “And God said unto Abraham, Let it not be grievous in thy sight” (Gen. 21:12).

Abraham rose up early, and wrote a bill of divorce, and gave it to Hagar, and he sent her and her son away from himself, and from Isaac his son, from this world and from the world to come, as it is said, “And Abraham rose up early in the morning, and took bread and a bottle of water” (Gen. 21:14). He sent her away || with a bill of divorcement, and he took the veil, and he bound it around her waist, so that it should drag behind her to disclose (the fact) that she was a bondwoman. Not only this, but also because Abraham desired to see Ishmael, his son, and to see the way whereon they went.
By the merit of our father Abraham the water did not fail in the bottle, but when she reached the entrance to the wilderness, she began to go astray after the idolatry of her father’s house; and forthwith the water in the bottle was spent, as it is said, “And she departed and wandered” (ibid.), Ishmael was twenty seven years old (when) he went forth from the house of Abraham, and Isaac was forty years old. By the merit of our father Abraham the water did not fail in the bottle, but when she reached the entrance to the wilderness, she began to go astray after the idolatry of her father’s house; the water in the bottle was spent, and the soul of Ishmael was faint with thirst.

“And she departed and wandered” (ibid.). The meaning of “and she wandered” is merely idolatry, because it is written, concerning (this root), “They are vanity, a work of delusion” (Jer. 10:15). He went and cast himself beneath the thorns of the wilderness, so that the moisture might be upon him, and he said: O God of my father Abraham ! Thine are the issues of death; take away from me my soul, for I would not die of thirst. And He was entreated of him, as it is said, “For God hath heard the || voice of the lad where he is” (Gen. 21:17). The well which was created at twilight was opened for them there, and they went and drank and filled the bottle with water, as it is said, “And God opened her eyes, and she saw a well of water” (Gen. 21:19). And there they left the well, and thence they started on their way, and went through all the wilderness until they came to the wilderness of Paran, and they found there streams of water, and they dwelt there, as it is said, “And he dwelt in the wilderness of Paran” (Gen. 21:21). Ishmael sent for a wife from among the daughters of Moab, and ‘Ayeshah was her name. After three years Abraham went to see Ishmael his son, having sworn to Sarah that he would not descend from the camel in the place where Ishmael dwelt. He arrived there at midday and found there the wife of Ishmael. He said to her: Where is Ishmael? She said to him: He has gone with his mother to fetch the fruit of the palms from the wilderness. He said to her: Give me a little bread and a little water, for my soul is faint after the journey in the desert. She said to him: I have neither bread nor water. He said to her: When Ishmael comes (home) tell him this || story, and say to him: A certain old man came from the land of Canaan to see thee, and he said, Exchange the threshold of thy house, for it is not good for thee. When Ishmael came (home) his wife told him the story. A son of a wise man is like half a wise man. Ishmael understood. His mother sent and took for him a wife from her father’s house, and her name was Fatimah.

Again after three years Abraham went to see his son Ishmael, having sworn to Sarah as on the first occasion that he would not descend from the camel in the place where Ishmael dwelt. He came there at midday, and found there Ishmael’s wife. He said to her: Where is Ishmael? She replied to him: He has gone with his mother to feed the camels in the desert. He said to her: Give me a little bread and water, for my soul is faint after the journey of the desert. She fetched it and gave it to him. Abraham arose and prayed before the Holy One, blessed be He, for his son, and (thereupon) Ishmael’s house was filled with all good things of the various blessings. When Ishmael came (home) his wife told him what had happened, and Ishmael knew that his father’s love was still extended to him, as it is said, || “Like as a father pitieth his sons” (Ps. 103:13). After the death of Sarah, Abraham again took (Hagar) his divorced (wife), as it is said, “And Abraham again took a wife, and her name was Keturah” (Gen. 25:1). Why does it say “And he again”? Because on the first occasion she was his wife, and he again betook himself to her. Her name was Keturah, because she was perfumed with all kinds of scents.
Another explanation of Keturah (is): because her actions were beautiful like incense, and she bare him six sons, and they were all called according to the name of Ishmael, as it is said, “And she bare him Zimran (Gen. 25:2).

Like a woman sent away from her husband, so likewise Abraham arose and sent them away from Isaac his son, from this world and from the world to come, as it is said, “But unto the sons of the concubines, which Abraham had, Abraham gave gifts, and he sent them away from Isaac his son” (Gen. 25:6), by a deed of divorcement.
Corresponding to the name of Ishmael’s son Kedar, the sons of Kedar were so called, as it is said, “Of Kedar, and of the kingdoms of Hazor” (Jer. 49:28). Corresponding to the name of Ishmael’s son “Kedemah” (Gen. 25:15), the “sons of Ḳedem” were so called. Because they dwelt in the territory belonging to Cain, his children were called “sons of Cain,” as it is said, “Now Heber the Kenite had separated himself from Cain” (Judg. 4:11). Were not all the sons of Cain cut off by the waters of the Flood? But because they dwelt in the territory of the children of Cain, his children were called “sons of Cain,” as it is said, “Nevertheless || Cain shall be wasted, as long as Asshur shall dwell in thy place” (Num. 24:22). “Nevertheless Cain shall be wasted away” by fire, through the seed of Ishmael, the latter shall cause the kingdom of Assyria to cease.
Balaam said: Of the seventy nations that the Holy One, blessed be He, created in His world, He did not put His name on any one of them except on Israel; and since the Holy One, blessed be He, made the name of Ishmael similar to the name of Israel, woe to him who shall live in his days, as it is said, “Alas, who shall live when God establisheth him?” (Num. 24:23).
Rabbi Ishmael said: In the future the children of Ishmael will do fifteen things in the land (of Israel) in the latter days, and they are: They will measure the land with ropes; they will change a cemetery into a resting-place for sheep (and) a dunghill; they will measure with them and from them upon the tops of the mountains; falsehood will multiply and truth will be hidden; the statutes will be removed far from Israel; sins will be multiplied in Israel; worm-crimson will be in the wool, and he will cover with insects paper and pen; he will hew down the rock of the kingdom, and they will rebuild the desolated cities and sweep the ways; and they will plant gardens and parks, and fence in the broken walls of the Temple; and they will build a building in the Holy Place; and two brothers will arise over them, princes at the end; and in their days the Branch, the Son of David, will arise, as it is said, || “And in the days of those kings shall the God of heaven set up a kingdom, which shall never be destroyed” (Dan. 2:44).
Rabbi Ishmael also said: Three wars of trouble will the sons of Ishmael in the future wage on the earth in the latter days, as it is said, “For they fled away from the swords” (Isa. 21:15). “Swords” signify only wars, one in the forest of Arabia, as it is said, “From the drawn sword” (ibid.); another on the sea, as it is said, “From the bent bow” (ibid.); and one in the great city which is in Rome, which will be more grievous than the other two, as it is said, “And from the grievousness of the war” (ibid.). From there the Son of David shall flourish and see the destruction of these and these, and thence will He come to the land of Israel, as it is said, “Who is this that cometh from Edom, with crimsoned garments from Bozrah? this that is glorious in his apparel, marching in the greatness of his strength? I that speak in righteousness, mighty to save” (Isa. 63:1).

Chizkuni:
The Chizkuni also picks up on this:
ותקח לו אמו אשה מארץ מצרים ממקום משפחתה וגדוליה. שבתחלה נשא אשה מבנות מואב ולא היתה הגונה ושלח לו אברהם אביו רמזים ע״‎י אותה עצמה שהיתה אשתו, שיגרשנה, כי לא היתה רחמנית והגונה ולקחה לו אמו אשה אחרת רחמנית כדאיתא בפרקי דרבי אליעזר והיינו ותקח לו אמו וגו’.
ותקח לו אמו אשה מארץ מצרים, “His mother took an Egyptian woman to become his wife.” the place where she grew up and where her family still live. Ishmael first married a Moabite woman but she was not a proper wife for him. He divorced her after his father Abraham sent a message to who had been his wife (Hagar) that this woman was bereft of all virtues. Then his mother took a woman from Egypt for his wife. According to Pirkey de Rabbi Eliezer, chapter 30, Yishmael first married a Moabite woman, and when that marriage did not work out, his mother intervened and chose a second wife for him. This is why the Torah had to report that his mother took a wife for him. His Moabite wife had lacked the Abrahamitic virtue of offering hospitality (even to his father).

September 21 and 22, 2023 Trip to Florida
September 25, 2023 Yom Kippur
Generosity of Sarah and Joel Miller
Open Heart Surgery of Joel Miller
Rabbi Zev Saunders, Rabbi of Delray Orthodox Synagogue
Purchasing Hoshanos from Rabbi Ben Sugerman
Doing Tzadakkah on behalf of Joel Miller
Shemini Atzeres and Simchas Torah

Sarah and Joel Miller graciously let us use their condo in Delray Beach, FL. My kids in Boynton need our help and in desperation I asked Sarah Miller for use of her condo. She said yes. On September 21st, loaded up the car and drove down to Florida. We spent the night at a Quality Inn at Monteagle, TN. We made it to the condo in Delray Beach at 10:00 PM. The next morning I drove Tiferet to school. It worked out beautifully. My son in law’s auto needed repairs and was at the mechanic for a week. I did almost all of the driving. We also took the kids out for lunch and dinner. We also had them over the condo to relax and for swimming.

For Yom Kippur I was at the Delray Orthodox Synagogue. The Rabbi, Zev Saunders is excellent. He learned at Gateshead and is also a student of Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, TZL. A rare combination. Speaks very inspired.

The first days of Succos we were also in Delray Beach. The second day of Succos, I left the condo at 5:45 AM and walked 5.5 miles to Chabad of Boynton Beach, arriving there at 7:30 AM. I davened and walked over to my kids house. I had the Yom Tov meal there. In the afternoon I walked the six miles back to the condo. My two grandchildren, Tovan and Aryeh Moshe walked with me. I did not tell them how grueling it would be. We all made it. They had a great time with us.

On Yom Kippur Joel Miller was having chest pains and was taken to the hospital. He needed open heart surgery and it was done on Monday October 9, 2023. It went well and he is recovering.

On Thursday, October 4, 2023, I went to Rabbi Sugerman’s house to purchase Hoshanos. After
purchasing my own, I emailed Rabbi Saunders to see if he needed more Hoshanyos. There was someone in his Shul who was worried he would not have Hoshanos. He wanted 10. I purchased and dropped it off at his home. B’Zchos the upcoming open heart surgery of Joel Miller, I paid for the Hoshanos. The next day, as I was entering the elevator at the condo and a Mrs. Ritter asked if she could have one of my Hoshanyos. I gave her one and she told me that it was a miracle that she was able to obtain Hoshanyos for Hosahna Rabah.

Friday October 5, 2023. Joel Miller had his surgery and it went well. He is recovering.

October 6 and 7, 20223 – Shemini Atzeres and Simchas Torah
We stayed by the Levys for the last days of the holiday, Shemini Atseres and Simchas Torah. I made a decision Friday night of Shemini Atzeres not to eat in the Succah. It was too hard for the kids. The next day I made Kiddush and made Hamotzi in the Succah. The night of Simchas Torah we all went first to Rabbi Billet;s Shul and then went to Chabad of Boynton Beach with Rabbi Viment, the Rov. It was nice. They had a meal after the sixth Hakafah which was cold cuts. Perfect. My grandkids also ate. The next morning I went to Chabad and about 11:30 AM my grandkids came along with my wife and Chani, my daughter. MY grandkids and I davened with Rabbi Ciment and I hugged Rabbi Ciment. We left at 2:00 PM after Aryeh Moshe and Zechariah received their Aliyos.

On the morning of Simchas Torah, we heard the news about the massacre in Israel. Rabbi Ciment spoke beautifully. He received a call that morning from his kids in Israel as to whether or not they should leave Israel. He told them that the safest place is in Israel. Hashem always watches over Israel and the Israeli people.

Rabbi Zev Saunders and myself. I am so not photogenic.

Rabbi Ben Sugerman and myself while I was purchasing Hoshanos.